I watched "Anger Management" tonight. Marisa Tomei was in it. She's so great! They should have mentioned that in the advertisements. I only knew that Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholas were in it. I thought it was a very good movie.

My life is not that exciting, I realized. It's very stable. Very settled. I think I know what it means to "get married and settle down somewhere." Don't get me wrong. I feel very rooted. I feel like this is where Danny and I are supposed to be right now. But, the most exciting thing I'm doing this week is cooking dinner for five people tonight. Jay, Joe, Slim, Danny, and me. I'm going to try to make some Japanese food. We'll see how it turns out. Jay is in town for like a week, so it should be a fun time of reconnecting and reminiscing.

I found a note on my desk at the end of class today from a student of mine:

"Dear Mrs. Chai: I thank you for teaching me and other students because I know it's hard to not lose control."

What an observant and precocious child. He's one of my quieter kids. Very mature for his age. Great kid! It's these moments when an 8-year-old kid thanks me that I know why I do what I do. And I enjoy it immensely. Today I got to teach parallel and intersecting lines. We also did a hands-on project where the kids made a 3-D model of Hades. And, I got to choose some of my favorite books for them to read for book clubs: Charlotte's Web, Little House on the Prairie, James and the Giant Peach, and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

But truly, I'm so glad the school day is over. I'm so thoroughly exhausted when the kids leave. Now I can catch up on some personal business, prepare for the next day, and tutor in peace.

I have cold feet and cold hands as well. I remember last year when I was working out, I had this weird sensation in my hands. I realized that the blood was circulating through them and that they were actually warm. I guessed that because I was working out and getting my heart pumping, I felt that my hands were warm. Ever since then, I realized that having cold feet and hands might have something to do with my heart and circulation.

The other day I was playing the guitar and trying to sing a song in a lower key. I couldn't quite get the tune, so I was fumbling a lot. I must have sounded very funny. In fact, Danny was playing Spider Solitaire nearby, and he found it extremely humorous. It made him laugh so hard that he had to physically get up from his computer chair and collapse onto the futon until he could regain control of his body. It was one of those laughs where your sides hurt so much, and at the same time you're shrieking with delight you are also screaming in pain. I was so amused by this that I stopped playing guitar and started laughing too. That's the Chai household. Weird. Our kids are going to be soooo weird.

We just found out that a sixth grader at my school passed away last weekend. They told us at our faculty meeting today. It was the worst piece of news I've heard in a long time. I didn't even know the girl, but I cried. I cried because it just didn't seem fair. This week is going to be very heavy and somber. Everything that I was thinking that day didn't seem to matter compared to the gravity of the situation. All my pettiness with other people paled in comparison, and I was floored. I know that death comes to us all. I have often pondered about my own death and the deaths of my loved ones at some point. When will it be? How will it end? But I guess death has a way of surprising people. The pain and the grief that accompanies death magnifies our love for one another. And I realized that I haven't been a loving person lately. I know this is only somewhat making sense, but these are just my thoughts.

Sunday afternoon naps. This is so crucial to me. Today I slept for three hours in the afternoon. A bunch of us from church had lunch at Pasta? and then when I came home, it was time for a nap. And then I thought Alias was on tonight. sniff. But it wasn't. Not even a rerun episode. It was "Who Wants to be a Super Millionaire?" with Regis. I was so disappointed. I was looking forward to seeing Sydney Bristow on screen. But I think I have to wait another two weeks. Oh well. Life goes on.

On a more serious note, I'm thinking about my next vacation plans and summer plans, and I would like to visit different countries.

I love sleeping in until 11:00am. Should I change jobs so that I can wake up at that time? Should I just bite the bullet and become an engineer? Ouch.

I went snowboarding for the first time this week. And I must say, I picked it up pretty quickly. But I realized something about myself. Danny says this about me all the time. I don't challenge myself. And sadly, it's true. I picked up snowboarding fundamentals, and I'm pretty satisfied where I am. I have no desire to challenge myself a little bit further and become a little bit better. In fact, I don't know if I'll ever snowboard again. I have this "been there, done that" attitude about it. Or maybe I just don't like it enough. In any case, I do realize that I don't challenge myself enough.

Guess what?? I just read Susan's page and found out that she went to Step class. Well, the coinky-dink is that I went to Step class too! It was a typical Tuesday. I was tired from work and wanted to just watch TV for five hours straight to unwind from a day of teaching and thinking and giving the eye to my students when they misbehave and all that good stuff. But I had made a promise to myself. I shall go to Step class. It took me a while to figure out where this gym was located and when I arrived, I realized I had no idea what to do. I had never REALLY gone to the gym, and now here I was trying to take a class. There were all these unspoken rules that I had to figure out. For Step class, you need to sign up, go grab a step, and then find a place to plop down. Of course, I don't know anything, so I just sit on someone else's step and wait for class to start. Everyone is either reading a magazine, lounging on their step, or talking to their friend. I try acting nonchalant, as if I've been there before, and start stretching. Right as the instructor is about to start, the owner of the step comes over and says "This is my spot." Whoops! so I scramble away, find the last step, and then with the help of a kind stepper, I manage to find a place near the front.

My goodness! What a workout. It was an advanced Step class and it was my first time. It took me some time to get used to the commands, like "V-step," "shuffle," and I forgot the rest. You should've seen me! You would be proud. I was keeping up and was pretty good, but nowhere near as good as the middle-aged Korean woman in back of me. I watched her in the mirror, and she not only had the footwork, but she was doing fancy motions with her arms! I was kind of jealous, but also proud to be Korean. Yes, even in Step class, I feel a strong sense of my ethnic background.

On that note, I noticed that most of the women there were Asian. There was one African-American woman in the bunch. She was talking the whole hour while all the Asian women were silent. It was so telling. The culture split was so evident. I wish I could be more call-and-responsey. But it's just not my nature. I suppose I could get into it if the majority of the people were responding. Looking around the room, I knew that most women felt the way I did: The teacher is talking and so I must not talk back. The teacher is a person of authority and must not be questioned. To respond to the teacher means that I think I'm on the same level as her.

Anyways, I enjoyed Step class and would go again. The next class I want to try is a spinning class. There's an "Easy Spin" class in the Campbell gym that would probably fit me best. The exercising adventures of Jieun continues...

It's ridiculous how much I need to go to the bathroom, but I can't until 3:20pm. I have back-to-back classes, and so I have to wait until after school and after carpool duty! Right now it's 2:15pm. One more hour of holding it in.

The reason why I'm not watching the Super Bowl right now and why I'm generally not into sports at all is because of my brothers. Because both of them were so heavily into baseball, and watching Monday night football, and playing basketball, etc., it drove me crazy. I went the opposite way. I wanted to watch anything on TV besides sports. So I watched Family Matters. To this day, I have a love for sit coms, no matter how bad they are. As long as I'm not watching sports.

I realize now that I should have supported by brothers more. I should have watched more of their baseball games. I should have listened when they rattled off the stats of Dodgers players. I should have learned the intracacies of football strategy. But alas, all I see are overgrown men who attack each other and get injured all the time.