Do you know one of my pet peeves is Cal/Stanford rivalry? Let me explain. As background information, I think both Cal and Stanford are fine institutions. They're just different. Public vs. private, for one. The list goes on. Having majored in Asian American Studies, I think Cal would have been a better choice for me in terms of academic niche.

But why so much pride? And why so much hatred? On both sides? Cal friends of mine are sometimes saying things like, "Go bears for life," and other such "til-death-do-you-part" statements. Even those who go on to grad school at Stanford, who sometimes spend more time at Stanford than at Cal, are blue and gold forever. Is it friendly loyalty? Or is there something more?

And Stanford people sometimes think they're above it all. "Oh, those Cal people are always hurting the tree at Big Games. I don't know why they're sooo into the rivalry. I'm not." Oh please. You're as proud as they are. Just maybe expressed differently. You know you like to flash around your Stanford name to impress. You know you want your kids to go there. You know you're so proud and pompous in your heart.

There have been little snippets of hope. For reconciliation. For healing. When we were in Seattle, Danny was too timid to go up to a Stanford basketball guy, so Miriam (a Cal grad) lets go of her pride and shouts with all of her might, "Go Cardinal!!!" And the tall basketball player hears it across the street, gives a fist punch of recognition, and walks on. That, to me, is reconciliation and healing. It was a moment when loyalty to a friend was more important than loyalty to what school you went to. We need more of these moments, where people from Cal are willing to say things like, "Yeah, Stanford's a good school. In fact, I'm going to grad school there," and people from Stanford are willing to say, "Wow, Cal won the Big Game? That's great!"

Maybe I'm being too idealistic. I don't care. I still believe in the power of love. "Don't be a hater." I'll be the first person to say that I like Cal. I have many dear friends from Cal. I wish I went to Cal for a summer to take some classes with Takaki. I think Cal is cool.

Should I try yoga?

Another wedding. This one took me back to the past. They got married at the same place we got married, so it was cool reminiscing. Then we had this elaborate Chinese banquet-style dinner at Ming's, which was where we had our rehearsal dinner two years ago. Brought back a lot of memories. I've talked about this a lot before, but I'm not sure if I ever wrote about it. I always tell Danny that I want to get married again in ten years. A renewal of vows, but this time, do the wedding the right way. :) For most people, planning a wedding is really the first wedding that they plan, so they don't know what to expect. Wouldn't it be great to plan a wedding after you've been through it once already? For example, you would know how to:

1. Choose a dress that you really really like
2. Schedule a make-up person that you really like
3. Go with a photographer that you really like
4. Tell the hair person how to adjust the veil so that it can come off later
5. Invite only those people that you really like
6. Ask some friends to take pictures of you with your own camera so that you don't have only the professional photographer taking pictures
7. Allocate about 7 to 8 hours total for the whole affair, ceremony and reception and all
8. Have the wedding in LA, where your family doesn't have to drive up the 101, even when you told them to drive up the 5 because it's faster

I'm not saying that I didn't like my wedding. I loved it. The ceremony was wonderful. I just missed out on hanging out with people on account of poor planning. And really, that's the most important thing to me, to celebrate with people who are happy for us. So in ten years, hopefully we'll have a renewing of vows ceremony.