Guess what!  I GOT MY EARS PIERCED!  It's really a significant event for me.  It's not like I'm twelve, and I just got my ears pierced.  I'm 26 and I just got my ears pierced!  My whole life, I wanted my ears pierced.  Ever since I was young, I begged my mom, "Can I get my ears pierced?"  I would say, "If I can't get my ears pierced, then I want a dog!"  My mom is simply not a dog person.  So, she ended up saying no to both.  She said that when I'm 18, I can do whatever I wanted.  So by the time 18 rolled around, I had developed a sense of pride about not having my ears pierced.  I was different.  I was UNIQUE.  But inside I still really wanted it.  I remember being jealous of Karen's way-cool blue skeleton earrings.  They dangled and everything! 

So I just denied myself of it, lost interest for a while, and wanted it again a couple years back when I got married.  But I knew my mom would have a fit if she saw me on my wedding day with my pierced ears.  She's not opposed to jewelry, I realized, because she pushed for me to get clip-on earrings.  She is just freaked out about body piercing of any kind. 

So when I was in Korea earlier this month, I mentioned to her that I wanted to get my ears pierced and she exclaimed, "No!" with a look of terror on her face.  Geez.  Then when I came back, I realized that I'm 26 now, and I can pretty much make my own decisions. 

So when Brittany said let's do something "wild and crazy" this past week, I suggested LET'S GET MY EARS PIERCED!  So I did.  Thanks to Brittany, Miriam, and Minho who loved and supported me through the process. 

And kudos to Danny for noticing when I picked him up from the airport at 1:30am! 

By the way, please don't tell my mother yet.  I'm still thinking of a way to gently let her know.    

Hi, here am I in Korea. My native country. Motherland. We're at Cheju Airport, at an internet kiosk, killing some time before we get back to Seoul. We were ecstatic to find that there's internet available here at the airport, for our convenience. Danny was especially happy.

So Danny pretty much underwent a drastic change in hairstyle and glasses. Glasses in Korea are soooo cheap! I might get a pair myself.

I don't have a good book to read. Miriam recommended Tess of the D'urbervilles to me, and I'm slowly going through it. But let me tell you, it's a hard read! I can barely understand the English. I need something more easy. Got any other recs under your sleeve, Miriam? Anyone else have a recommendation for me? Anything with Asian themes, racism/prejudice, romance, mother/daughter relationships, and the like will do. I'm willing to expand a bit, too.

We should probably get going to the boarding gate...

So far, we've enjoyed being Korean tourists. Danny is very into being a tourist and seeing the local sights, so it's been very fun. Also, we went with a group that's from LA, so we met people from the LA area. Mostly families with kids going to Sunny Hills or UC Irvine. We were the oddballs. More later!

Today I went to a wedding. One out of like 10 weddings this year! People are dropping like flies. Taking the oath of matrimony. Go marriage!

I'm glad that Danny doesn't like dancing, just like me. I mean, I'll dance sometimes. Here and there. But I don't truly enjoy it. I'm talking about the freestyle shakin' your booty, lookin' cool or dorky, depending on who you are, kind of dance. Don't get me wrong. I love choreographed dance, ballroom dancing, modern dance (kinda), etc. But dancing at weddings is difficult for me.

Back in high school and college, dances were just not my cup of tea. I watched all my friends go to dances, and take those dance pictures, and pass those dance pictures around at school. I know that lots and lots of people do like dancing, and I admire their ability to enjoy the carefree nature of hopping around and gyrating to musical tunes, without feeling self-conscious. But me, I guess I didn't get that gene.

Since I have a lot of time on my hands, I organized our books on our two bookshelves. The books are organized loosely in the following categories: small-sized books, Asian-American literature, Christian, programming, Education-related books, Danny's fiction, Jieun's fiction, Resources, foreign language textbooks and books, and dictionaries. Please, feel free to borrow any of our books. Just make sure to sign in. I lent When My Name Was Keoko by Linda Sue Park to Hanah. I thought she might find it a bit interesting. OK FINE. I'm trying to convert everyone into Asian/Asian-American literature fans!

But really. What is Asian-American? Asian America? How did we come to this place? I honestly think that my life would have been much simpler if I were raised in Korea. No cultural barriers to worry about. I don't know. I guess you can argue that it's just one layer among many problems in life. Sure.

But thinking about it in the grand purpose of life, I think God has a purpose for creating Asian-Americans. As he does for other people who are bicultural. I guess the movement of people into new lands has always been in the Bible. Abraham did it. Moses. Ruth. That's how God wanted to reach other people. Through people. I was reached through my mom, who was reached through a door-to-door missionary somewhere in Korea. He was reached by someone, and before that guy, and so on, and so on, until probably the first missionary in Korea in the 1800s. I'm just guessing here, but if this were true, then I'm a product of the first missionaries who went to closed Korea, who were white Westerners from somewhere in Europe or America. And now South Korea sends out missionaries like crazy to all over the world.

Missions is fascinating to me. The history of the world can be looked at in terms of church history and missions. Where did you hear about Jesus?

I learned a new word the other day by reading Janice's blog: svelte. I don't even know how to pronounce it! But I had to look it up on dictionary.com to find out that it means slim, or thin. I know this embarrasses Danny, the fact that my vocabulary is weak, that I have different ways of pronouncing words, and that I don't know some American idiomatic phrases. Sometimes I'll ask after using a big word - what does that mean? And Danny's like, how can you use the word if you don't know what it means? It's just that I like the word, and guess the meaning by using it the way I think it should be used. Then I clarify. Nine times out of ten I use the word wrong.

About four year ago, I saw a can of soup in Danny's apartment, and I said, "Ooh, minestrone!" But the way I pronounced it was MINE - STRONE, two syllables. Danny gave me an incredulous look, and said, "You're kidding, right?" I said, "What! Whatcha lookin' at?" He replies, "It's MIN-E-STRONE-EE, four syllables." I truly believed that I was right, and we even got a third party involved. I was moded. Faced. Owned. Oh well. Who likes minestrone anyways?

Speaking of getting worked, I went to my first modern dance class tonight. We didn't leap like a deer, like I had imagined. We pranced like a horse. I wasn't sure whether or not to laugh out loud in the middle of class, or just get really into it, and reap the benefits of pure cheeziness. I have to admit, though, it was fun. If you're a cynical person, modern dance is not for you. I have a slightly sarcastic personality, and I was struggling not to let that get in the way of getting in shape and sculpting my body. But if you're full on sarcastic or cynical, you might not get into it. When the instructor yells, "Prance like a horse, turn around, jump, hop, skip, fall, and leap!" you just have to do it. Inhibitions let go...

He made a comment tonight that I liked. There is no rhythm in modern dance. You go to your own inner rhythm. I like that. Danny would hate it. He's all about being on beat and having GOOD rhythm. Modern dance is definitely my style: slightly weird and out of rhythm.

Saturday is our church picnic. Hooray! Danny and I are in charge of bringing a tuna pasta salad and water bottles. I just have to say, the tuna pasta salad is a hit at parties. I'm not sure exactly why, but when I got the recipe from Susan two years ago, I was reluctant to try it at first. Could it be THAT great? But little did I know. It was a star ready to be born. It's my go-to dish now for potlucks. And several people have asked me for the recipe since. So here it is... It is for sure a success at parties, so try it out! Thank you Susan!!!

Tuna Pasta Salad
Serves 5-7 people

1 bag of colored rotelli pasta (the spiral ones)
1 can of tuna (the smaller size)
¼ cup chopped parsley
¼ cup chopped basil
½ red onion – sliced
cherry tomatoes – quartered (as many as you like)
½ bottle Best Food Italian dressing

1. cook pasta

2. while pasta is cooking, chop up parsley and basil and mix with Italian dressing in a separate bowl.

3. mix dressing in with the cooked pasta. **you might want to mix in only half of the dressing to soak into the pasta, and mix the rest in right before you serve it.

4. Then mix the tuna, sliced red onion, and quartered tomatoes

I signed up for Modern Dance class this summer. Should I practice before going? Be a tree. Jump like a deer! I wonder what class is going to be like. I will keep you all posted.

Well, school is done! I'm done with report cards, done with my teacher duties for this year. I'd like to thank all of you who supported me through this whole process, the sympathetic looks, the care package, and many encouraging pep talks. I'd like to thank my students who were the inspiration behind the 4-paragraph comment section. Thank you also to the wonderful parents who have provided me with lovely gifts: flowers, gift certificates to nice restaurants, lotion, and much more. And last but not least, I'd like to thank my husband Danny, who has been a great support throughout the whole process. Without his constant care and partnership, I would not have been available to accomplish all that I did. Thank you!

Status report: 7 more report cards to write. I see a faint light at the end of the tunnel.

A surprise was waiting for me when Danny and I came home last night. Someone had left a care package for me in front of our door! Wow. My heart was overwhelmed with gratitude. But the person had left it anonymous. I have no clue who could have given me such a treat. I suspect it's a girl, a teacher, and has a good memory. I say good memory because lo and behold, there were two Krispy Kreme donuts, unglazed and cold. Who would remember that I like unglazed, cold donuts except someone who has good memory?

I have a couple of people in mind, and I can't wait til she reveals herself to me so that I can pour out my thanks. But just in case she remains silent forever, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

When I have a lot to do, and am stressed, I do so many extraneous things to try and avoid doing my work or reward myself for reaching certain goals. So this past week, during report card writing week, I watched like six episodes of 24, I finished a book (The Secret Life of Bees, which is about racism), and I cleaned out the closet in the guest room.

In college, during midterms or finals, I used to put on different shades of lipstick, read about make-up applying tips from different fashion magazines, and catch up on my correspondence. My roommate Patty thought I was weird. She was always a diligent worker who studied normally. BTW, she's getting married this weekend! And I will be co-emceeing with Joe. More stress. But it should be fun.

4 report cards down. 12 more to go. I take almost two hours writing one of these! I didn't quite reach my goal of completing five this weekend, but I'm glad I got started on them. They're due Thursday. So until then, I will be a bit stressed. And then more stress for the weekend because I'm emcee-ing at a wedding. And then comes jury duty for a week. And then my 2nd year wedding anniversary! And then a trip to DC and NYC with girlfriends. And then a trip to Korea! And then relaxing and doing nothing. And then Chinese classes again this summer! And then another wedding in LA. And then back to school.

It means a lot to me that Danny and I are going to Korea. The Republic of Korea is my birthplace. Seoul is my go-hyang, which means my hometown. The very essence of my soul still lingers in Seoul. He can finally see my essence. :) Not that Danny has never been to Korea. He just hasn't seen me interact with my extended family.

I've seen him in multiple family situations: Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt Phyllis', Christmastime in Houston with his sister, her in-laws, and the whole entire church of Seoul Baptist, cousin Marshall and Peter in New York, cousin Maggie in Seattle, aunts and uncles galore, grandma, great-aunt, and much much more. I'm always blessed by his family. I think in general they like me and that's such a blessing.

I've said this before, but I always imagined myself marrying into a very Korean family. In fact, I prepared for it all my life. I know how to start a conversation with Korean parents, I know how many times I have to offer to wash the dishes, and I know how to cut fruit, among the many things written in the hidden code of conduct. Basically, I know what is expected of me as a daughter-in-law. However, my experience can be likened to that of studying really hard for a test, but finding out that instead of an essay exam, it's a multiple choice test. A multiple choice test is much more straight forward, to the point, and without frills. Now some may think, "Wow! Lucky! I want a multiple choice test!" The thing is, I was expecting an essay exam! I studied so hard. I'm better at taking writing tests because I get to show all my knowledge. In fact, I'm horrible at taking multiple choice tests. So on the one hand, I was a tiny bit disappointed that I didn't marry into a Korean Korean family.

However, don't get me wrong! It's not that I'm failing my multiple choice test. I studied so much that I can figure out the multiple choice test. I don't have to rely on innate test-taking skills. I've acquired enough knowledge to help me get through the multiple choice test. And when I look around at my other Korean-American friends who have married into Koreanized families, but wasn't expecting the essay question test, I see that they are suffering! They haven't studied the quotes to weave into their answers. They haven't memorized the key words that test readers are wanting to see, eager to see.

So I know I've got a good thing. I embrace it. I'm blessed by it. Hooray for multiple choice tests!

So back to my original point. I'm a little bit concerned as to how my extended family will react to Danny. Should I just say he's Chinese? haha. Well, he is "Chai-nese." So I wouldn't really be lying....

I guess what I'm saying is that it's harder for someone who studied for the multiple choice test (in Danny's case, since he's innately so good at multiple choice tests, I'm not sure if he even studied at all!) to enter into an essay question situation than the reverse. So it's harder for Danny than it is for me. I'm trying to imagine how my uncles would communicate with him. My cousins are ok in English, so they'll be able to understand him, but they'll respond to him in Korean. I can think of one uncle who's a quantum physics professor that might be able to communicate with him in a math or computer language. Other than that, I think it's just going to be a little bit uncomfortable. Which is fine with me, kinda. I just hope Danny studies a little for this test.

This is what some parent wrote on one of my student's homework paper: "Language and Math should never be MIXED. This is BAD MATH! Mrs. Chai, this was a poor Math exercise. There is too much language." The assignment had to do with identifying the different parts of a division equation, such as dividend, divisor, and quotient, reading and figuring out which is which, and answering True or False to certain statements about divison equations.

Anyways, I think it was a worthy assignment, but the comment just put a damper on my day. Having your professional integrity questioned is just not fun.

Anyways, SN, my parents did not pay a DIME for my college education. I worked through college. I always had some kind of job. I had the maximum amount of student loans, which I'm paying back right now, and for years to come. I received grants from the school, and applied for scholarships from outside sources. In fact, when I waited in the financial aid line at the start of every quarter (with Patty and James), the school paid me! Usually I had a little left over, which I used to buy books. I think finances should never stand in the way of education. I firmly believe this. We live in America, and where there's a will, there's a way. I hope you can find comfort in that. And sometimes, to be debt-free is... heaven. Literally.

There are two moments in my professional life that I can think of where the memory of it just makes me cringe and I can feel the bottom of my stomach filling with dread. The first moment was during an Ancient Egyptian PowerPoint presentation where my third graders performed in front of their peers, parents, and the principal. Two boys were talking about the god Thoth and what he was known for. All of a sudden, a noise interrupts. That familiar four-note melody that's immediately followed by a pop-up window displaying a message: "hello?" Danny had decided to IM me right at the moment when I could receive the maximum amount of embarrassment.

In that split second, while my students' faces turned towards me in bewilderment, I panicked. I quickly exited out of the message box, closed my Buddy Window box, and then acted like nothing happened.

Then all of a sudden, like a zit that keeps reappearing even after you pop it, another window appears with the same AOL tune: "are you there?" You see, I hadn't exited out of AOL Instant Messenger. I had merely closed the window. But I thought I had gotten rid of the problem!

So I quickly exited, told the boys to go on, and proceeded to call Danny on the phone to warn him not to AIM me anymore. But you see, there was a performance going on, and parents were there, the principal... Just thinking about that experience makes me feel ill. I ended up calling Danny and whispering so softly that he couldn't hear what the heck I was saying.

"Stop AIMing me," I managed to say.

"What? What are you saying?"

And then I feared that he might AIM me AGAIN to write "what are you saying?"

So I said in a louder whisper, "Please stop AIMing me. We're having a PowerPoint presentation right now!"

He answered back, also in a loud whisper, "Why don't you exit out of AIM?" Ha! Like I didn't think of that already.

Well, I couldn't stop the current performance, but when the next pair was up, I quickly exited out of the program and just tried to pretend it never happened. I sometimes relive that moment in my thoughts, when I saw my principal widen her eyes at this sudden interruption. I had a couple of nightmares about it. I also think of alternate solutions I could have used in that moment.

All I can say is, I'm glad that Danny used neutral language. Can you imagine the humiliation if he wrote something like, "hey baby, how YOU doin? You're hot!"

The second moment happened today. It is every teacher's worst nightmare to wake up in the morning and realize that she is late for school. And it happened to me. My principal called me today at 8:40am. I was totally and utterly in bed, sleeping. Didn't hear the alarm clock. Probably slept through it, or turned it off without knowing it, or set it to PM instead of AM so it never rang. I don't know. All I know is, I was late, my principal had to call me to wake me up, and I made everyone worry about me. I hate being irresponsible like that. Right now I'm trying to find a balance between receiving the grace that my colleagues extended to me and being hard on myself for being so stupid. :(

It's the end of an era. Friends are parting ways. Now I realize that there are many haters out there. Enemies, if you will. But why hate? Why not love? Friends, as you know, has been there with me through thick and thin for the past ten years. I stuck with them, and they were faithful to me. From age 16 to 26 I've watched Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Chandler become their own person.

ONE thing I have against the show was that there wasn't a great positive Asian American character. Ross's ex-girlfriend Julie was alright, but Rachel hated her, and she eventually got dumped by Ross. I just didn't feel that she really was accepted by the friends. Then there was actor Steve Park who played an analyst at Chandler's office. Joey asked, "Are all analysts geeks?" I thought that was offensive. And Chandler once made a joke, "Can there BE any more Kims?" about Korean Americans.

Although I loved Friends and will get all ten seasons on DVD eventually (I have 1-3 already), it's time for a cup of coffee at a new cafe. Better yet, it's time for a boba cafe.

(I can't believe I turned this entry into an "eracism"/pro-Asian American/pro-minority entry.)

I'm such a natural at computer programming! :) Haha. Just kidding. Any old person can do it. I just set up a Comments section on my page, and I'm so happy about it. Anyone want to write me something? A shout-out? An eprop perhaps?

I was trying to comment on Janice's page, when I realized that I have to be a xanga member to make comments on her page. I got so enraged that I decided to get a comments section for my page so that anyone who wanted to write a comment to me would be able to. Ha! Take that, xanga.

I went crazy with Mother's Day gifts this year. Mom, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and grandmother-in-law. Why not, I say. It's so nice to be surrounded by family and relatives who speak English and are in the same country. But all I have to say is, next year I'm sending a nice card. That's it.

I'm a horrible gift-giver by nature, and it's only in the past two years that I've been really trying to become a better gift giver. I remember growing up, I gave Karen the worst gifts ever. And she always gave me awesome gifts. I would always get things for people that I liked and not ones that I thought would make the receiver happy. To this day, I still cringe at the memory of me giving my then 11-year-old brother a solid colored T-shirt from Mervyn's. I thought he would jump up and down for joy because if I had received one, I would have jumped up and down for sure. But he was like, "Thanks." I wish I could go back and get him a super soaker water gun, baseball cards, a Nintendo game, or something like that.

The thing is, I think my younger brother is a good gift-giver. He thinks about what the other person likes, and then adjusts accordingly. For example, I still remember when he got me a Vineyard CD and the matching songbook. It blew me away! I love praise and worship music, and I love matching! Recently, he got us Trivial Pursuit (even though we already had that particular version) because he knew that Danny loves the game. How thoughtful.

My other brother, on the other hand, is not so much into gift-giving. It's not that he doesn't care about loved ones, but I think he thinks that it's philosophically ridiculous. I don't know. I don't want to misrepresent him. When it comes down to it, he knows and accepts that it's a part of society. He'll do it for social reasons, but chooses not to put too much emphasis on it. Since Mother's Day is coming up, and it's socially acceptable to give moms a gift, he was willing to chip in for a gift. But he didn't have to do anything besides give the money. Maybe it's just laziness.

Babies are people, too. But we can't expect them to be adults. The adults have to be the bigger people. Danny tries so hard to win babies' hearts, and then he gets so devastated when his affections aren't returned by little ones. And why shouldn't he? He treated the baby as a person, and when the baby didn't treat him with courtesy or respect or even acknowledge his presence, we tend to justify the babies' actions because "they're babies." And we as adults are expected to pick up the pieces of our hearts and move on when a child ignores our hellos and gestures of affection. The other day Ashley just stared at Danny and gave him a weird look when he said enthusiastically, "Hello!" I think she thinks he's kind of freaky. But the man tries so hard. Every time he sees her, he tries. He theorized that maybe kids don't respond to him because he's not physical enough with them. So at the end of the visit, he picked up Ashley and swung her up and down while she said, "Boing!" She loved it, and started liking him more. When he stopped, she said what any other child would say in that situation... "Again!" And of course by this time, Danny was tired, so he stopped. That was the end of her affections, and now I'm sure it'll be back to weird stares.

Wow, I have only six more weeks of school left. I started planning what my summer schedule would be, and already I'm busy as a bee. I'm always complaining that I never get enough sleep or rest, but then at the same time I'm always signing up for this and that, and making myself tired. These are all the things I want to do during my summer break: take Chinese class, tutor, exercise at 24 hour fitness, travel to DC, New York, and Korea, organize pictures, read books with Asian American themes, watch DVDs, go to three weddings, and swim. I can just see my non-teacher friends with other professional jobs cringe at this list of options I have for the summer. Actually, I can see my lawyer friends who are hating it at their jobs cringe when I mention my dilemma of how to spend a long vacation. Actually, I can see Danny cringing at this list. He's thinking, "Where am I in the list? Where is 'attend to all of Danny's needs' on the list?" :) Of course it's in there! You just have to look carefully. Read between the lines.

Anyways, my sister-in-law had a baby! I'm not ready to have kids. I think. The reason is that I think if I can't even take care of myself, how can I take care of a child? But I know all things are possible. I mean, I got married without knowing how to take care of Danny. And I still don't know, but I'm learning as I go. Who really knows how to be a good wife and a good mother from the get-go? Give me her number and let me call her up so we can chat.

I'm reading Purpose-Driven Life and learned that in all things we should do it for the glory of God. I've learned it before, but I'm learning it again. When I attend a Sunday worship service, I sometimes think about what I can get out of it, and if I didn't get anything out of it, I think man, I should have just stayed home. But the book was saying that we worship to benefit God. To glorify God. We attend Sunday service to glorify God. Not to get something out of it. I mean, it's a nice side effect, but it's not the primary reason. That's so deep. I live my life so selfishly that I'm having a hard time grasping this concept.

Alas, my metabolism has slowed down much since high school and college. I keep remembering the time when Christina, Patty, and I were at Kenneth Cole in Las Vegas, and we decided to share one dressing room for the three of us. I think most of us think we're smaller than we really are, so we got this shirt to try on in an extra small. It's one of those tight-fitting tops that you can where to a New Year's party, and it has a zipper on the side so you can wear it easily. However, we all had trouble getting the darn top on, and the two of us had to physically help the one person who was trying her hand at the extra small top. At one point, as we were trying to shove a head and two arms into the proper place, one of us gave up and yelled "Abort! Abort!" because it was clearly a failing mission. Ah. Good times. Our sides were hurting from the pain of laughter. I think you had to be there in order to understand how funny it was, and in order to laugh along with me as I tell this story.

Anyways, my point is, my body is not sixteen years old anymore. Nor is it twenty. Nor 25. Nay, it is now 26. I have to debate with myself now before I consume a Haagen Dazs ice cream bar. Oh well. And I most certainly choose to eat it every time. So much for self-control. Late twenties. Bring it on.







Here's me eating a crepe in Paris. Jambon and fromage (ham and cheese, I forgot the French word for "and"). A crepe in Paris is truly a wonderful experience.

This is a test.



Let's see if I remembered Susan's directions correctly. Woohoo! Thank you Susan Park. This picture is from last summer. It was our smallgroup when John was leading. I'm the one who's trying to be surprised and fobby all at the same time.