Abigail Jinhee's Birth Story

When I was in the hospital late at night nursing Abigail, on the second day of her life, I decided to tell her a story about the day she was born. As I told it to her, I began to weep. I guess it was a combination of hormones and delayed emotional response to her actual birth. You see, I was very calm and collected during delivery, and I was actually looking to Danny for emotional cues. When he got excited about crowning, I got excited. When he got nervous about the umbilical cord wrapped around Abby's head, I got nervous. And when he started crying (bawling) at the moment of birth, I cried, too. He experienced it all in the present. Perhaps because he wasn't drugged. Whatever the reason, my first reaction to Abigail was "Awwww.... it's a baby! How darling!" It wasn't until the second day, in the stillness of night, when Danny was sleeping on the couch, and the lights were out, that I got to feel all the emotions of the previous day while rocking and cradling my precious daughter close to my heart.

On Tuesday, March 21, 2006, the long-awaited DUE DATE, I woke up with a start at 6:00am. I groaned and turned over to Danny, saying, "I think I'm having a contraction." And sure enough, every 8 minutes, I had a contraction that lasted about 45 seconds. Of course the night before we had gone to bed at 4am because that's who we are. We are night owls and that's what we do. I had gotten 4 hours of sleep, and for the next 24 hours, I did not get a chance to sleep. So I got up and went about my day in spurts of 8 minutes. Every time I had a contraction, I bounced on my exercise ball, did some hee-hee-hooooo breathing technique, or tried some kind of laboring position I learned in childbirth classes. I felt excited, anxious, and scared. My attitude was, "This can't be that bad. Women have been doing this for centuries. I can do it, too. I've got to stay strong."

I went to my doctor's appointment at 11:00am, and I told my doctor that I'm in early labor, and that I've been having regular contractions every 8 minutes since 6:00am this morning. She didn't bat an eye, she didn't seem phased, and she didn't seem excited at all. Hello? I guess in my mind, I thought that since I had been in early labor now for five hours, I would probably deliver my baby in about five hours, 7 hours tops. But she thought my news was mundane. She checked me out, and said that my cervix has a dimple, meaning that it hadn't even started dilating. Great. Five hours of pain, and what did it show for? Nothing.

The rest of the day was spent bouncing on the exercise ball, taking walks with Danny, experiencing painful contractions every 7 to 8 minutes, and calling people in intervals of 8 minutes. My mom and dad had started driving up from LA in the morning. They arrived at around 5pm. We ate dinner, we talked, and everyone helped me through the contractions. One especially useful tool was this rice-filled sack that acted as a heating agent when cooked in the microwave for 3 minutes. Eddie came by to take my dad to the airport. He was en route to China.

The contractions were getting stronger and more painful, and they occurred more frequently as the night wore on. Finally at around 3:30am, when the contractions were coming every 3 minutes, Danny and I went to the hospital after I took one final shower. I thought for sure, after 16 more hours of laboring, I must be at least 5 cm, or ready for delivery. How naive. The doctor said I had dilated 1.5 cm! I nearly broke down crying. You see, the hospital does not admit you until you are 3 cm dilated. They usually send you home. But the doctor could see that I was in pain and had regular contractions, so she said that she would check me in one hour again. That hour was a nightmare! We had a nurse that was very brusque, almost making me cry, and I threw up my dinner all over the floor and my shoes. Not good times. Anyways, the doctor came by to check me again, and this time she said that I was 3 cm dilated, so that meant I could be admitted to the hospital.

Then the doctor asked me if I wanted an epidural. Danny and I looked at each other. I said, "That sounds about right." You see, my desire to go natural was a bit misguided. Sure, women have been doing it for centuries. But, according to a wise woman who's gone through three births, "Women have also been dying for centuries." The hospital is just not a place to go all natural. I say go to a birth center, or hire a doula or midwife to be with you at a hospital so that they can take over. Doctors and nurses are trained to give out medicine. They believe in its power. And so do I.

After receiving the epidural, it was cake. For the next six hours I dilated nicely, we both took naps, and we had wonderful nurses who took really good care of me. When the time came for pushing, the doctor on duty came into the room. I recognized her instantly. "Hey, did you go to Whitney?" She answered, "Yes!" It turns out that she's the older sister of one of my classmates from high school. So, in between contractions and pushing, we had a nice conversation about the "school of dreams," and caught up with Cerritos news. At 1:43pm, Abigail Jinhee Chai was born, in the presence of not only one Whitney alum, but TWO Whitney alums! Wow.