Ahjoomma

Today, as I was sitting alone (with Abby in stroller) in front of Fantasia, enjoying a nice green milk tea with pearls, I came upon a sudden realization. I'm an ahjoomma now. Growing up, I think Korean Americans all associated the word ahjoomma with a woman who has a short haircut and perm, usually wearing "mom" jeans that hike up all the way up to the waist, and can be spotted picking her teeth with a toothpick in public whilst sporting a very wide-brimmed hot pink visor, an oversized fake Louis Vuitton purse, and sandals with socks. Come on, you've all seen them. Some of them are your mothers!!! My mother is a classic ahjoomma.

But in actuality, the term ahjoomma refers loosely to a woman who is married and has kids. If you're unmarried and still young, you're called "aghashee" or "chunyuh" (which directly translated means "virgin" in English). I remember having these titles from about the end of high school to when I got married. When you're newly married and young (for about the first two years), you're called "shekshee," which is uncannily like the word "sexy" in English.

What if you're not married and have kids? You're an "ahjoomma." The rule is, if you have kids, you're automatically an "ahjooma." What if you're married and never have kids? Somewhere along the way, you become "ahjoomma." What if you're single and not that young, and haven't gotten married? Then you're referred to as "no-chunyuh," which means "old virgin" when directly translated. But this is not something you call someone to their face. I've only heard it in reference to people, when they're not in the same room. It's not supposed to be a good thing in Korean culture, to be a "no-chunyuh." But whatever. It's the 2000s. Let's get over it. If you're in this category, you're eventually called "ahjoomma," because it would be rude and very inappropriate to call you "no-chunyuh."

So this realization that I'm officially an ahjoomma didn't depress me, like I thought it would. I accept this title with pride. Yes, I'm married, no longer "shekshee," and yes, I have a child. I'm AHJOOMMA. However, I say let's re-define what ahjoomma stands for. How about low-rise jeans, medium-length layered hair, a real Kate Spade diaper bag, and no wide-brimmed hot pink visor? Just a little sunblock would do, really.

Anyone with me? Who out there is an ahjoomma? Come on, raise your hand. Be proud of it.