Sleep Training

Parents are split over the issue of training their infants to sleep. Some are gungho about letting the child cry it out. Others are all about attending to their every cry and making sure the infant is asleep before laying them down in their cribs.

Before I had a child I was like, "Of course let her cry it out!" Ch. And then Abby was born. How could I, her mother, her protector, let her cry for more than five minutes?? I understand that line of reasoning. For the past four months, we've been doing a combination approach where we would put her down drowsy, sometimes with a pacifier, sometimes swaddled in a miracle blanket, sometimes dead asleep, sometimes this and sometimes that. Even if she was able to go through the night without food, she still would wake up a couple of times due to gas, noise, or whatever. Combine that with the fact that I don't actually go to bed until around 2am (I'm a night owl), and the result is that I haven't really slept for more than five hours at one time for the past four months. But I'm not complaining. I'm just telling it like it is. I usually make up for the sleep debt during the day by taking multiple naps.

Anyways, at Abby's 4 month appointment, the doctor declared that Abby was a very healthy baby. She's got rolls of fat, she's reached plenty of milestones (like rolling over), and she makes all kinds of new noises (including a shriek that resembles what one would imagine a velociraptor sounded like). Sooooo, Danny and I decided that Abby shall now cry herself to sleep. That sounds so harsh to me when I say it, but there's no reason why she shouldn't be able to soothe herself now.

Problem: But what if she rolls over and gets her arm stuck and can't breathe?
Solution: We put these wedges next to her body on both sides so that she can't roll over. Bought them at Target. I figure when she has mastered rolling over on both sides she won't need them anymore. Plus, it is good to put your infant to sleep on her back (I put her on her tummy for naps only now).

Problem: But what if she's going through a growth spurt and crying because she's hungry?
Solution: This is a big question for me because as the sole giver of nutrition for my child, I'm always worrying about if I'm doing an OK job. But let's face the facts. She's pretty huge. The doctor says she's in the 75th percentile for her weight. In addition, people at church have referred to her as "fatso," "chubby," "gargantuan," "sumo wrestler," and the like. You can't deny that she's getting enough to eat. So if she's hungry, I'm sure it's not going to be a big deal. As for growth spurts, someone told me that even if babies go through growth spurts, they can still sleep through the night. They can just eat more frequently during the day.

Problem: What if she's afraid of the dark and she's crying out of fear?
Solution: We thought of getting a nightlight, but haven't quite gotten it yet. Perhaps it's true, but it's not likely.

Problem: What if she doesn't know how to soothe herself?
Solution: Before Abby discovered that she can suck her fingers to soothe herself, I did not believe in letting her "cry it out." It would have just been literally tiring yourself out by crying, and not knowing how to soothe yourself. But now, she knows how to suck her fingers, and when she stops crying or fussing long enough to remember that she knows how to soothe herself, she'll do it and she'll fall asleep. The only way we would've known this is to just try it out one day. We did, and eventually she found her fingers, and she was able to calm down. Although it took her one hour of crying. Of course, we would check on her every five minutes or so to make sure that she was OK.

Problem: What if she needs to burp and can't do it on her own?
Solution: We try to make sure that we burp her before she goes to sleep. And if she's still uncomfortable due to gas, then eventually she'll spit up and it'll be fine. It might a little bit messy, but it's not the end of the world.

So anyways, even if there are solutions to the many problems I worry about, I STILL worry. We started this "cry it out" approach this week, and every time I put her down, my heart breaks. Did I feed her enough? Is it too early to put her down? Does she want to stay up just a little longer? Is she in pain and I just don't know it? Is a bug biting her? Is she bleeding and screaming her head off to warn me? Did I change her diaper? Is the tag on her clothes bothering her? Will her vocal cords be ruined? Am I a BAD mother? Is this really necessary? Can't I just hold her all night? Why can't she just sleep with me? Does she feel abandoned? These are just examples of some of the questions I ask myself.

On the plus side, she seems to sleep better if she's left to soothe herself to sleep. So I know that our little method is helping her, but I am holding my breath every night until she's sound asleep. It takes anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour of crying. Will it get better? Should we try a different approach? Will the madness of questions end?