What is it about XBox, basketball, and poker that binds fellow men together in friendship and commonality? Lately Danny has been all about hanging out with people and calling people. It's like, "Who are you???!!!" It's great to see him out there, caring more about staying in touch and bonding with people.

I've often thought about why it's so much harder for women to get together like that, week after week, choosing some activity to do (OR not), and just "hanging out." The other day, I went out with two of my girlfriends, and we had a three-hour lunch. Each took her turn sharing about the latest things happening in her life, and it was FUN! But I don't do this with them every week. In fact, maybe only twice a year. I wonder... do I sacrifice frequency for more depth? Does Danny go in-depth with his hangout buddies every week while maneuvering a joystick, or passing a basketball, or waiting for the straight to come "on the river"?

Hanah suggested that maybe women are a little more complicated than men, in that we have more varied interests that prevents us from participating in a common activity. Some of us like to shop, some of us like to play sports, some of us like to knit, and some of us like to bake. Perhaps we do have varied interests, but should that stop us from trying new things? More importantly, should that stop us from "hanging out?" "Would you like to go shopping with us?" "Oh no. I don't like shopping. I'm not into it." But what if the activity is just a means to an end? What if the end goal is to just "hang out?" What if every week the activity is shopping, and some girl doesn't like to shop? Will she have no more friends? Of course, she can suggest another activity and invite people to join her. I think when it comes down to it, women generally don't think in terms of "hanging out." We are more goal-oriented. Whereas men can easily see basketball as a means to "hanging out," women are more inclined to think, "Why should I play basketball when I don't like it?"

Rarely when I go shopping with a girlfriend do we both have nothing in mind to buy. We always have to have some kind of goal in mind. Like, I need to return a dress at Macy's. Oh, I saw something at Anthropologie that I have to get. Nordstrom's is having a sale, so I have to go and get that pair of shoes. In the process of meeting our goals, we fit in "hang out" time, and when our goals are achieved, it's time to go home. I'm not saying that this is bad. I ALWAYS have fun when I go shopping with girlfriends. It's fun to fulfill your goals with other people. It's basically having someone there to run errands with you. But I savor the "hang out" time that happens along with the activity. And you get to know a person really well by observing how she shops, how she spends her money, and how she treats people at customer service.

One of the problems with this kind of goal-oriented approach to "hanging out" is that women don't get to hang out with each other as frequently as they ought. I guess some women are okay with that, but I am not. I need "hang out" time with people more than they need it with me.

So what should I do about that? Maybe nothing. Or maybe have more goals and organize "hang out" times by organizing more events. Be the initiator. Whatever. I'm tired. I'm going to bed.