Buggin'

So, like, I'm totally buggin'! This is a line from one of my favorite movies: Clueless. "Buggin'" means "stressed out," for those of you who don't know the lingo.

I admit it. I'm a stressed out person. Most people see the calm, collected, "Capricorn" Jieun. And it's not that I fake people out; it's just that the stress is all inside. I expect Danny to match how I'm feeling. When I'm excited about something, I need him to be as excited.

WHAT!? You found out your customer's Mary Kay foundation color is Beige 304? That's with a pink undertone, right? WOWZERS!

When I feel stressed, I need him to feel stressed as well. But it seems that my husband doesn't stress out in exactly the same way that I do in exactly the same situations. For example, when we need to get ready to go out, say to church on Sunday morning, I feel stressed. I need to pack the baby's bag with snack, lunch, diapers, a change of clothing, a favorite toy, water, and milk. I need to change, put my makeup on, and pack my own stuff. Abby needs to get fed, read to, loved, and sometimes bribed into getting into the carseat. I start by brushing my teeth, reading to Abby, packing a healthy snack, and then I look at the clock. It's 9:00am. Oh, I think. Plenty of time since we don't have to get to church until 10:10am. That's like one hour. Plenty of time!! WRONG.

Fifteen minutes later, Abby is only diaper-clad but well-fed, I'm still in my pajamas, and I'm starting to get into panic mode because I realize that if we need to get to church by 10:10am, then we have to get out of the driveway by 9:50am. That means leave the house by 9:40am. That means have everything packed and ready to go by 9:30. And it's already 9:15!! Fifteen minutes. During these next fifteen minutes, craziness ensues in my head. I'm running around frantically trying to put my contacts in so that I can start putting my makeup on, pulling a dress over Abby, who is screaming in protest, and praying that I don't forget to pack the milk.

Enter Danny. He takes literally 2 minutes to get ready, on a non-shower morning. On a shower day, it's 3 minutes. Puts on his uniform: jeans and a t-shirt, brushes his teeth, and slaps on some water on his face. I'm ready, he proclaims. Gr. He sees that I need help with Abby so he asks, what can I do? I give him two tasks: get the milk ready and make sure Abby has a change of clothing.

He goes off on his mission. I'm still freaking out, thinking why are we always late?? We have to show up early to help out at church, and everyone's going to be mad that we're late, AGAIN. And as I'm applying my mascara, I hear faint noises coming from the living room. I open our bedroom door.... it's the piano! Danny is playing Invention No. 8 by Bach - a lively and catchy tune. But I'm standing there in disbelief. Why is he playing the piano at a time like this!!! We have two minutes until we're officially on our way to being late for church. So I march out there and demand to know if he's accomplished his tasks. He has. Oh. OK then.

He just doesn't feel the stress of getting to places on time. I feel it ever so acutely, and yet I feel so powerless to change the situation. Danny just gets ready faster than I do. He helps out with what he can with Abby's stuff. Then he's done. Nuff said. Done deal. GGeut. But I spend so much time stressing out that maybe that's the reason why I'm late all the time. Plus, I procrastinate and I'm lazy sometimes. I want to be able to get to the point where I just get ready without all the stress, and then have a couple minutes left over to play a round of Invention No. 8. Teach me, O wise one.

Lasagna

I made lasagna for the second time in my life. I used already-cooked lasagna strips. Very interesting! It was a huge time-saver. And, one lasagna dish can last you FOREVER! It's like my curry rice dish that lasts for two weeks in the Chai household. I'm definitely adding lasagna to my cooking rotation. Thanks Melissa for the ingredients advice!!

GUYS ONLY

Here is a picture of Danny and some of his buds from college. Henry, Danny, and John all have one toddler (plus John has an infant who is not pictured).

BTW: I love how Abby is reaching out to me, the picture taker. "Mah-mee!"

I was honored to be invited to this year's "road trip" that was GUYS ONLY for many years. I kind of felt personally responsible for making sure that people who traveled a great distance felt that their money was well-spent. Since Danny and I only had to drive to Santa Cruz, it just made sense for us to take care of local business.

But I had a huge dilemma. Since it was GUYS ONLY for such a long time, I'm not sure if they knew what a trip with GIRLS and KIDS would be like. As the weekend approached, I felt stress coming on. Who was planning the meals? What entertainment would be provided for the little tots? Was there a DVD player available? Does the beach house have cooking utensils? Does little Mary speak English? What CAN Nathaniel eat? Is it cold in Santa Cruz? Are we going to spend some time at the beach playing or just looking at the waves? Are the Yoons coming? Where is Andrew? Will Abby fight with Nathaniel? Will this be madness or happiness?

Part of it is being a mom and making sure I prepare for plan A through plan E, for the sake of my child. Another part of it is my people-pleasing personality. Still another part was the fact that I felt like we should be the "hosts," since it was in the Bay Area.

I decided to ask Danny what we should do in preparation for this trip. He just stared blankly at his computer screen and said, "I don't know. Um, I think we'll hang out at the beach." Hm... what does that mean? Should I pack all the beach necessities? Beach toys? Umbrella and towels? Sunblock! Hats, water shoes, etc.

Then I had a brilliant idea! I should call Henry! He seemed to be the top planner/organizer of the group, and will surely have an answer for me. "Henry, what should we do about breakfast on Friday, and meals in general?" His answer for me was: "We don't plan."

Hm... what does that mean? Does that mean therefore I shouldn't plan? That if I DO plan I will not be invited to any other road trips? But how can I NOT plan? This trip potentially involves FOUR babies, THREE women, and FIVE men. We'll be staying in a house in a neighborhood unbeknownst to any of us. Who knows what we will face? As a woman, "Be prepared" is my heart's natural motto. You don't even have to remind me to be prepared, I just do it instinctively.

So my dilemma was: Shall I go with the mantra of "we don't plan" and then watch four babies die, three women cringe, and five men thrive? Or shall I take matters into my own hand and do what I can so that four babies thrive, three women thrive, and five men thrive?

Needless to say, I planned for this trip. Not completely, but I did what I could to ease my stress, anxiety, and make sure that needless chaos doesn't happen. Normal, controlled chaos is fine with me, but why add needless chaos? I just hope Henry wasn't mad that "we don't plan" method was sabotaged. My number one priority was to make sure the kiddies would be fed and entertained. I shopped at Costco and Safeway for some essential breakfast food and toddler food. As for entertainment, I brought books, basket of toys, soft surface for kids to roll around on, alphabet mat, and the rest of the time, pretty much Uncle Dave took care of all the entertainment!

Anyways, I had a great time! Even though the only real time I can relax is when Abby is sleeping, I still had a generally relaxing and fun this this past weekend. My favorite part was when I walked in on the guys having a prayer meeting where they shared about what was going on in their lives and then prayed for each other. I didn't hear anything (because I forgot my glasses and one of my eye was swollen shut from a bug bite, and I really can't hear when I can't see), but it just warmed my heart to think that these guys really care about each other. I'm glad my husband has great friends like them that will surely last a lifetime.