Thursday, December 11, 2003

I was bored and looked up my name on Google. I came across dave's entry on my engagement dinner back in January of 2002. It was hilarious.

"its sort of a korean thing that when you meet someone for the first time, you have to sing a song. Not all the time, but it's common. Scott kim knows this-- when he met one of his relatives in korea (and i was there), he had to sing a song. He chose forever young. But anyhow, i'll tell that story another day.

but yeah, it's just a korean thing. so yeah, all those in the us planning to go to korea, be prepared to sing a song."

It's true!!!!!!!!! You do have to be prepared with a song. In fact, I sang "Take my Hand" by The Kry at Norma's engagement dinner party. There was a lull in the conversation, and Norma's mom said, "Let's sing a song! Who will sing a song for us?" I knew immediately that we had to organize and get it over with, because it's no use refusing politely. You'll end up doing it in the end. So my table got up and sang "Take My Hand," clapping in the background and everything. Of course, I initiated and encouraged (forced) everyone to do it.

When I met some Korean people in a different part of the world for the first time while I was traveling, I was introduced as the teacher from America to a crowd of people. I was with my mom, and all of a sudden, the crowd wanted a song in English! I was mortified, but my I could see that my mom was already planning for us to sing. So, I just swallowed my American pride, and we ended up singing a nice duet rendition of "God is so good." Hallelujah.


Monday, December 01, 2003

This is an entry I wrote a while back. It was only a couple of months ago, but I've changed so much since then...

"You know, it is hard to maintain your independence
once you are married. I guess the very nature of
being married is being one. But, I would have to say
that I am distinctly an individual apart from Danny,
as well as one with him. Sort of like the trinity.
All God, but all man. Three persons, one God. You'll
never figure it out.

So anyways, I was thinking about this because Henry
said something interesting. (Yes, Henry!) He treats
me as if I were Danny. Or, in other words, he acts
exactly the same way to me as he does Danny. (Maybe
not EXACTLY, but pretty closely.) That is so
interesting. I don't think I treat married couples
that way. I definitely treat Henry differently than I
do Lorraine.

So going back to my point, I feel like I've been
losing my independence. I know I shouldn't. On good
days, I realize that I CHOOSE to give up my
individuality for the sake of us being one in mind and
heart. For example, we have certain roles in the
home. Danny takes out the trash and I cook. Those
are roles that we set for each other. We chose to
divvy them up. It's not that as individuals we can
not perform the tasks. Like, before Danny, I took out
the trash all by myself. And I'm sure Danny cooked
something to eat sometime. But now we have CHOSEN to
give up the right/privilege ? as individuals to rely
upon one another. That's why when I'm gone on a trip,
people ask if Danny is starving, and offer to cook him
dinner. Because they inherently know that that was my
role. In other marriages I'm sure it's different who
takes what role, etc. And when Danny goes away, I get
shocked that I have to take out the trash. At first I
am numb and will ignore the task. But when it becomes
unbearable, I have to exert all my energy in taking
out the trash. When thinking about this objectively,
it is absurd! I was quite the capable woman before I
got married. I'm not saying that I'm not capable
anymore; I just forget to assert my individuality
sometimes.

OK, so here's the point of my whole entry. I just
write this entry and send it to Danny, who then puts
it up for me. I was totally fine with it, but now,
I'm thinking, what if I want to control this myself?
I don't have the darndest idea how to put up my own
thoughts on the web. Xanga? Should I go that route?
Bloggers? Javascript? ohmy! What am I talking
about? I have no clue. So anyways, this is what I'm
thinking. I want to be in charge of my own thoughts
page so as to assert my individuality, as I am in a
happy marriage that celebrates the idea of oneness."

Friday, November 28, 2003

It's been a perfect Thanksgiving. This year Danny and I decided it would just be the two of us. At first, I was like, "But what about the family!!! What about the love!!!" But it's been great because I realized that we are family. And we are in love. :) Probably next year we'll go to LA or something, but this year, we had Thanksgiving dinner at California Cafe in Los Gatos. Then we went to San Luis Obispo. We walked all night at Farmer's Market and had a blast. Right now we're in an internet cafe waiting for our movie to start. Elf. And tomorrow we get to see Hearst Castle! I've just been having the time of my life. And you know for Danny, having an internet cafe break is GREAT.

So we're going to have a busy December. First weekend is Miriam and Minho's wedding, in which we're both involved. My mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and her husband will be staying with us. Then the week after, Karen is coming to visit!! The week after that, Las Vegas, baby. With my college friends. Then Houston. Then LA for another wedding.

Which reminds me. I have two weddings to attend this month, and I can't figure out what to wear for both of them. I'm so sad that there are no clothes out there that fits my taste. Maybe it's partly that I don't have a fashion sense. It can very well be that I'm just a dud. But, I'm looking for specific things in clothing, and I can't seem to find them. Or, if I do, it's too expensive to buy. I wish I can design my own clothing.

Friday, November 21, 2003

My students are creating PowerPoint presentations for their parents on Tuesday, and we've been madly trying to finish them. Today one student deleted her second slide, but I guess didn't know what to do about it, so she just started working on it all over again. Instead calling me over and asking me to undo what she just did, she went ahead and started working on it. It's lost forever. She started crying. My students are only in third grade, and are already experiencing the pain of losing work on the computer. It reminded me of the time in college that I had to write my whole paper again because I accidentally deleted it. I hated that gut-wrenching feeling. So, I'm going to do what I can to help her out during lunch.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

My grandmother passed away several days ago. Since she lived in Korea, I was never too close to her. I only saw her every couple of years, but she was the only grandmother I knew. I remember there was a time when she visited America, and stayed with us for a couple of months. The two most important things she made sure she taught me during that time was 1) to always hand over a pair of scissors handle-side first and 2) that I am from the "mi-ryang" Park tribe. There are apparently three major kinds of Parks, and she really wanted me to know which one I belonged to. Perhaps she contributed to my sense of identity. Some Korean-Americans never know what kind of Kim or Lee or Choi they are, and it's not that important to them. But because my grandmother taught me, I remember and feel like I know who I am and where I come from.

Sunday, November 16, 2003

I have bronchitis again. I don't know what it is, but every time I get a little cold, it turns into this nasty bronchial infection where I cough and cough so much that i get a six pack on my abs. Also, this is gross, but I lose control of my bladder sometimes when I have a coughing fit. Not total control!! But just a little. It's unpleasant, let me tell you. Whenever I get sick, I think of my mom and I always call her. I'm 25 years old, a quarter of a century under my belt, but I still feel like I need my mommy. And the greatest thing is, she just sits there and listens to my ailing complaints. She doesn't offer any advice or ask any questions, which is not what I want from her, but she gives me unconditional sympathy. Aww.... poor baby, she'd say. I am a poor baby! I'd reply. Then she always tells me the story of how when I was born, she remembers coughing a lot. It was a cold January night. She thinks that because she was coughing a lot when I was born, it somehow passed onto me. Perhaps she feels partly responsible for my weak body.

Anyways, I went to the doctor this week and I got some medication to help my bronchial infection to heal. I've never used an inhaler medicine, but it's kind of a fun way to take your medicine. Does anybody else feel sorry for me?? :)

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

I think women relationships are harder to build than men relationships. A lot of women, including me, think that hanging out with guys is so much easier than hanging out with women. Why? Because in general, men are just more chill than women. They don't get all sensitive about the way people say things, and it's easier to joke around with men. (I realize that I'm stepping on some dangerous waters by generalizing about men and women, but really, these are my thoughts, so I should be able to express them freely.) Anyways, so back to men and how they are so easy to hang out with. So, my theory is that it takes work for women to bond with other women. You have to be a little more sensitive with each other, not joke around harshly with each other in the beginning, resist the temptation to compete with each other when other men are around, and learn to accept each other as we are. It's tough, but I've found that it's so worth it. Having meaningful female relationships in my life is great, and I don't know what I would do without them.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Hm... How many road trips have my husband taken with just the guys since we got married?

Sunday, October 12, 2003

I had dinner with friends from Menlo School. It was great catching up with them. We ate at Straits Cafe on Santana Row. I think it's my favorite restaurant! It's a bit pricey, well, a lot pricey, but I just love the Asian fusion dishes. All my favorite Asian dishes fused together in one great menu.

This weekend I got a lot of sleep. I slept until 11am on Saturday. Then took a two hour nap later that day. Then I had a 9 hour sleep on Saturday night, refreshed for Sunday. And finally I took another two hour nap this afternoon. I love weekends where I can just sleep and do nothing.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

"Noises Off" was the name of the play we watched last night. It was hilarious. I loved it! I came to appreciate the theater a little more because of that play. How ingenious the set was. How impeccable the timing of the actors. Boy, I wish I can act.

My number one regret in high school is not trying out for a play. There will never be an opportunity like that ever again. Asian students got to be so many of the roles. It was unbelievable.

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Tonight is our first Date Night since we got married. Don't get me wrong. Danny and I go out a lot, and spend time most days. However, we decided that we would build Date Nights into our schedule, and take turns preparing for it. That way, we have made a conscious decision to spend some quality time with each other, and not just exist next to each other. Danny is in charge of tonight's Date Night. We're watching a show in San Jose. How fun! Hopefully this can become a bi-monthly thing.

Monday, September 29, 2003

My car is in the shop. Don't know what the problem is yet. Cars.

My first car, a light blue '80 Chevy Chevette, brings back a lot of great memories. I was sixteen, and was one of the first tenth graders at my high school to own a car. It had been given to me for free from a parent's friend. I was so bold to drive around in that clunker!

I didn't mind so much at the time, but if you know a little bit about Whitney High School, you would also know that the parking lot of Whitney was a mini show room of brand spankin' new cars given to teenagers to drive, given to them from guilty and rich parents who didn't have much time to spend with their kids, but made it up by buying them new cars. (Even I ended up getting a new Honda Civic sedan after my Chevy Chevette died on the road.)

Anyways, I was never embarrassed about driving my Chevette, and all my friends were very supportive of my car. I remember Elsa bought me a car freshener to hang on my rearview mirror. It was one of those flat trees with a fresh lemon scent. And in the summer, when the air conditioner wasn't working and was in fact blasting hot air onto all of our legs, they still said "What a cool car!" It was great. It was amazing how much I wasn't into peer pressure in regards to this topic. I was so unvain.

In fact, I was very unvain in many other ways back in high school. As I grew older, I started to care more about what other people thought of me. Now I'm the most vain person I know. Isn't vanity a sin? Yes. My God. What kind of a life have I been living?

My little blue Chevy Chevette will always linger in my memories as a reminder of how I should live my life - in modesty.

Was that enough paragraphs for you, Henry?

Sunday, September 28, 2003

I remember pulling all-nighters with Susan in junior high. Wow! Those were the days. She knew how to have fun while studying. One time, she and I and Cristina were studying for the 8th grade science final. We decided to make up cheers to help us remember concepts. Haha. My brothers must have thought we were whack. Ooh! By the way, my older brother is now a resident in Korea working as a lawyer. Hooray for him! He is the most Korean one out of the three of us. He speaks, he writes, and he understands. But more importantly, he is culturally more able to transition in and out of Korean culture than me and Jibin. Perhaps he will marry a Korean woman straight up from Korea? Who knows. That's my prediction. :) Anyways, I'm hoping to visit Korea next summer with Danny. It has always been my dream to go to Korea with Danny. And Japan. And China. (According to my mother, we're both going to China next year, btw.) Oh, Jannie, my mi-yuk guk turned out well! Oh, and today I made tuna pasta salad with Hanah's help for a church picnic. And it was a hit! Thanks to Susan for the recipe during my bridal shower. It really is a party favorite.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

I made seaweed soup today. I'm waiting for my husband to come home and taste its goodness. I guess when it comes to cooking, my dream is that everyone who tastes of anything I cook would be so enthralled that they would proclaim, "Dear God! What are these pleasures on my taste buds!?" It's because I'm a perfectionist. Over this past year, I've gotten much better. I don't fish for compliments from Danny as much anymore. I just need a decent head nod, a murmur of pleasure, a raising of eyebrows, and a "this is good."

Monday, September 15, 2003

Are Asian Americans "people of color"? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To answer your question, Susan. :) There was once a time when "colored people" referred to only blacks, I think. Asians were referred to as "Orientals" and other names, which I won't name here. I think I'm making this next part up, but I believe that sometime during or after the civil rights movement, "people of color" became a term that encompassed all non-white minority groups. Over at Menlo School, I was shocked that they considered Asian Americans to be "white." What the? Preposterous! They have more to go in defining diversity in their school.

My pet peeve is when Asian Americans, especially the ones who have "made it" in society and have climbed the corporate ladder, claim that they are color blind and are oblivious to institutional racism. Just because they have succeeded in this society doesn't mean that everyone else has. This one Asian guy said to me once at Stanford, "I don't see _______ as white. She's just a person." Uh, are you blind? I see her as white! To be fair, I think I can understand what he was saying. The core of what he was saying was: I treat everyone equally. He claimed he didn't see color. He just treated everyone the same. Hm. Can I say something?? I think it means more to say, "I see that you're white, that you are part of a majority group in America, and that I'm yellow, and I am part of a group that consists of less than 5% of the population of America, AND I will treat you equally." And vice versa.

To deny seeing color is to deny that you are part of a very real system of classification based on color. I believe this guy has "benefited from a system that he claims does not exist." I won't get into this too much. sigh.

I'll stop right here. I have much to say about this topic, but I find that often times I speak out of emotion rather than intelligent reasoning.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

My latest TV craze: Alias! Wow, talk about intense. Even more intense than ER. Dramatic and suspenseful. Intelligent and engaging. Plus romance and action. All the elements you need for a successful TV show.

Anyways, I have this new bag that I use for school. I've been using a backpack for two years, but it was time to get a teacher-type bag to hold all my stuff. It's a big black bag with the word "Hollywood" written on it all over the bag in white letters. One of the "Hollywood" signs is written in gold lettering. I got it right before going to Puerto Vallarta. Karen recommended the bag to me. I was skeptical at first, but now I absolutely love it!

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

I've been so tired lately. Physically exhausted. We didn't get a chance to rest this past weekend. We hosted people and played, went out to eat, shopped, and had a great time. Monday was so tiring, though. I need to be back in school mode. No more vacation mode. This is my daily ritual. I wake up at 6:40am to my alarm, and snooze until 6:50am. If I need to shower in the morning, then I'll get up at 6:20am, begrudgingly. Anyways, I have exactly 20 minutes to get ready. Any later and I hit the carpool traffic at school, and then it's over. It takes me about ten minutes for my eyes to get adjusted in order to put my contacts in. It's just really hard for me in the morning. I was talking to Hanah, a fellow teacher who gets up early in the morning, and she said that she just wakes up when the sun comes out. I want that. I cringe when the sun comes out. I'm truly a night owl. I look and feel better at night. That's why I would change my wedding to a night wedding, if I could. See, even now, it's midnight and I should be sleeping. To me, a late hour is 1am. I just don't have the discipline to go to bed early. Plus, it doesn't help when Danny goes to bed late due to his online texas hold em pokering. But it sucks for Danny because once I wake up and make a lot of noise bustling about (even with earplugs), he can't really go back to sleep before work. So, he's exhausted at work. We both come home exhausted.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

First day of school. So much happens in a day when you're in charge of a group of kids. I usually forget to write about it, or forget to tell someone about it. One girl handed me a cluster of roses the first day school. 10 points for her! Another kid brought in the wrong summer book. One emotional girl was very nervous about starting third grade, so I had to talk to her to warm her up before all the other students came. We were deciding on rules for the class, and one student suggested in a serious tone, "Be appropriate and mature." I love that rule. I would love it if everyone were appropriate and mature throughout the whole year. All in all, it was a great first day of school. I taught my kids how to say "hello" in Korean. It was great being able to infuse Asian American studies into my work. I love my job. I will now go shopping for some back-to-school clothes.

Friday, August 29, 2003

Tutoring. A job of contrasting forces. The dread I have the couple of minutes before it starts. Yet the pay is great! The minutes that seems like hours when my tutee just doesn't get what I'm saying. But the pay is great! The constant discussions I have with parents about their children, quelching their concerns and listening to their woes. All in all, the pay is great! You get the idea.

I have been tutoring since I was in the sixth grade. My first tutee was a girl in kindergarten. Her name was Yoo-Ri, which means "glass" in Korean. All throughout high school I had a number of tutoring jobs. Our family had a lot of financial problems. Since I was precious only daughter, middle child, and not really into details, I had no clear idea about what was going on in my family. Something about bankrupcy. Business not going to well. It's all really hazy. But, I did grow up with a sense that we weren't doing well financially, and it fostered a spirit of independence within me. I never wanted to ask my mom for money. I never wanted to seem like I want so many things. Like clothes, Barbies, Cabbage Patch Kids, stylish shoes, pierced ears, a pet with four limbs, and so on. I either had to deny that I wanted them or drop vague hints around my birthday or Christmas, so that it doesn't seem like I REALLY wanted these things. Anyways, in high school, I made enough money for allowance. This made me feel really independent and responsible, and I could finally just buy what I wanted. But the years of denial affected my shopping habits, and to this day I have problems buying what I want or knowing what I want to buy. (I'll go into this dilemma some other time.)

My tutees: Yoo-Ri, Janet, Jason, Daniel, Austin, Stacey, a guy from Whitney, girl from Gunn High School, Chimi, Colin, Parisa, and a couple more names I can't remember! I wonder where everyone is now. I wonder if they know how to read, how to conjugate Spanish verbs, how to utilize the pythagorean theorem, and how to read for meaning. Each tutee was special. I realized from my tutoring experiences that I really have a heart for female immigrant children learning English as a second language. They are the ones that need a tutor the most. They are the ones I can relate to the most. In fact, I was a female immigrant child who learned English as a second language! I am tutoring ME. I'm giving back to other people like me, opening up doors for them that they would not otherwise have known existed if I didn't show them. That's my tutoring story.

Thursday, August 28, 2003

My husband has been playing Texas Hold Em poker nonstop since our Chicago trip.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

Every once in a while I sit back and analyze my friendships. I go through stages of feeling like I have no friends. I had a lot of those waves in college, and they were much more painful for some reason. I think I'm going through one right now, as we speak, but I'm not sure. It's definitely not as dramatic as it was in college. I'm much more secure now as a married person. Having a constant companion really "settles" you down. And I'm totally thankful to have someone with whom I can share my life. BTW, Danny broke out in hives last night, and for the past 24 hours it's been non-stop taking cold baths/showers, feeling drowsy from the medicine, sleeping like crazy, and willing with all his might not to scratch the itch. I admire Danny's ability to not scratch so much. And, he's a very non-demanding sick person. When I am sick, believe you me, you will KNOW that I am sick.

Anyways, back to friendships. In a lot of ways, having a life-long best friend has given me both a sense of security and confidence, and also has handicapped me. Let me explain. Karen and I have been friends forever. BFF. From the moment I initiated trying to be friends, to the barbie adventures, to the horrors of adolescence, through the ups and downs, Karen has been my rock. It was nice having someone who always remembered my birthday (although I forgot her birthday once - oops!) and functioned in a lot of ways like a sister-I-never-had. So, she was always there. Even if we went to different high schools, she was still in Cerritos. I used to play a trick where, if our family went over to their house for a visit, I would pretend that I was sooooo tired, and couldn't get up to go home. So then, Karen or her sister would pipe up and say to my mom, "Why don't you let her sleep over??" And I would say, "What a great idea!!!" Or something like that, and I would end up sleeping over at their house, again. Literally their house felt like my second home (their HUGE house, might I add). Of course, as all relationships do, it took a lot of work to stay close as we got older. I remember once in high school telling Karen over the phone, "You know, we should bond more. I don't just mean a superficial bonding, but real covalent bonding, like hydrogen atoms." Do you remember this, Karen?

Anyways, because I was always secure about our friendship, I also tended to think that I didn't need to make other friends. But this was hard since we didn't attend the same school. And after a while, we attended different churches. So it became essential that I make other friends in other areas of my world, but I think I had difficulty. I didn't know how to make a friend other than Karen! In high school I can only think of a handful of friends that I had, and really only two friends that I actually hung out with on a regular basis. I buried myself in my studies and extracurricular activities, and I was hard-core church girl. My weekend was basically church. I didn't go out and socialize, I wasn't invited to parties or birthdays, and being a major homebody didn't help at all. So then Joe Kwan says, "But you were homecoming queen," indicating that I must have been popular and that I must have had many friends. All I can say is that I think I was very public (Colorguard and Christian club leadership), and half my school was either on band or in Christian club. Plus, it was a support-the-underdog, the one in touch with the masses, the one that wouldn't normally be nominated but seems kinda quirky kind of thing. So that's my story.

In college, I was never consistently secure about my friendships. Making friends was just very difficult for me. I know Karen didn't have a problem because when I see her college pictures and albums, she had tons of friends, and more importantly, a group of close friends. I kinda had that, but not really. Instead of being handicapped, I think Karen was more free to make other friends because she had a magnetic personality. We were both secure in our friendship, but whereas she felt free, I felt handicapped (for lack of a better word). I'm not saying that I had no friends! By all means I'm not saying that Karen was the cause or that it was her fault that I was a dork. It's just, I felt insecure about my friendships sometimes. It would go in waves. I would be perfectly happy, and then boom, totally doubtful. But I learned a lot about friendships in college. I realized that different people express their friendship in different ways. I just had to accept that.

So it brings me to today. Karen and I are still best friends forever. :) BFF. We're in similar life stages, married and working professionals. We live in different parts of California, but talk to each other almost every day. I do realize that I need friends in the bay area. I recently went to Christina's birthday dinner, and was very impressed with the way she is able to make friends wherever she goes. She was my first friend at Stanford, and we're still good friends to this day. But I only see her a couple times every six months.

Since I got married, I've been becoming better friends with Danny's friends. I hang out more with his friends than he does with mine. I wonder why that is. But I'd like to have some good friends with whom I can "hang" in Sunnyvale. A peer with whom I can relate on a personal level. I now have church friends, which is good, but transitioning into hang-out everyday friends has been difficult. Normally I'm not this insecure and doubtful, but I go in stages. Maybe today I just had a lonely day. I don't know. This actually gets into the heart of why I like Friends the TV show so much. They have each other in the same city, they hang out together, make fun of each other, and grow with each other. I think I want that. I know it's kinda dumb, but I just think it would be nice.

***Disclaimer: If you are my friend and you're reading this, I still think you're my friend!!!! I'm just being stupid, I know. It's just how I'm feeling at the moment.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

It's that time of the year again - Back to School! I've been coming into work every day this week getting the classroom ready for the kids to come back. Most of the teachers come in and out to prepare, but the time is flexible. Soon we will have our official faculty meetings. Do you know how much of a pain it is to decorate the bulletin board? I wish I didn't care about it, and just left it like it was the year before. But I care so much! I want to have a new look. A new design. My plan is to have a dark blue background, with a black tree and a full white moon. An owl will be perched on the lone branch, saying "Whooooo did this good work?" And then I can attach student work all around the board. It's my vision, but I don't know if I have the strength to carry out the vision.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

I recently started rearranging things in my apartment. The bookshelf in the hall is now in the office. I organized more stuff in the closet. I put up some pictures in long-ignored frames. It's like I have this new freedom to go ahead and do everything I wanted to do since I got married. I spent too much time thinking about it, worrying if Danny would like the changes, and waiting for Danny's permission to do things. Hmph! I can't believe I thought that! Danny loves the changes, and he supports everything I do. Or, maybe my nesting instincts are coming out. Perhaps soon there will be little Dannys and little Jieuns running around!

Monday, August 18, 2003

Current books I am reading:

Best Friends, Worst Enemies
Surprised by the Voice of God

Current books Danny is reading:

The Future of Freedom
Song Lyrics

Ever since living with Danny I have re-discovered my love of reading. My husband seriously reads about a million things a day. From the moment he awakes, he has this ritual of opening the front door, getting the San Jose Mercury (after making sure that nobody will see him in his underpants), and reading a portion of it as he does his business in the bathroom. Eventually he'll read the whole newspaper in its entirety once he gets home from work. At work he proably reads everything from Fantasy Baseball, salon.com, CNN, movie reviews, emails, peoples' thoughts pages, jbb, and the list goes on. Well, thanks to him, I have started reading Newsweek. Maybe one or two articles per issue - I can't stand reading things that bore me to death (like when I read thoughts pages that deal with highly esoteric material...) And I read Harry Potter this summer, which was very enjoyable.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

I had my first nightmare about school starting! It's this anxiety-ridden dream that involved me being late for the first two periods of the first day of school. I remember as a student I would be so anxious about the first day of school. It's the same for me as a teacher. Will my kids like me? Will I have things to say to them? It's hard to establish the groove of teaching. You never know how it's going to go until you're up there in front of the class trying out your so-called lesson plans. It's analogous to emceeing at Hanah and Eddie's wedding. I had no idea what to expect because it was my first time. But I planned with my partner, and made sure we had something to follow. Then, when we were up there, it was really all about going with the flow of the audience, gauging what they want to hear, and then just performing. In the end I had a lot of fun. Just like in teaching, at the end of the day, I feel like I finished a performance. And then I get ready for the next day, the next performance. Whew! No wonder teachers need a whole summer break to recover. :) Anyways, back to the dream. When I finally made it to school, my feet were so heavy that I couldn't run to class. I could only walk painstakingly slowly, while everyone around me were running to and fro. I really hope that my first day of classes will go well.