Thursday, May 27, 2004

It means a lot to me that Danny and I are going to Korea. The Republic of Korea is my birthplace. Seoul is my go-hyang, which means my hometown. The very essence of my soul still lingers in Seoul. He can finally see my essence. :) Not that Danny has never been to Korea. He just hasn't seen me interact with my extended family.

I've seen him in multiple family situations: Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt Phyllis', Christmastime in Houston with his sister, her in-laws, and the whole entire church of Seoul Baptist, cousin Marshall and Peter in New York, cousin Maggie in Seattle, aunts and uncles galore, grandma, great-aunt, and much much more. I'm always blessed by his family. I think in general they like me and that's such a blessing.

I've said this before, but I always imagined myself marrying into a very Korean family. In fact, I prepared for it all my life. I know how to start a conversation with Korean parents, I know how many times I have to offer to wash the dishes, and I know how to cut fruit, among the many things written in the hidden code of conduct. Basically, I know what is expected of me as a daughter-in-law. However, my experience can be likened to that of studying really hard for a test, but finding out that instead of an essay exam, it's a multiple choice test. A multiple choice test is much more straight forward, to the point, and without frills. Now some may think, "Wow! Lucky! I want a multiple choice test!" The thing is, I was expecting an essay exam! I studied so hard. I'm better at taking writing tests because I get to show all my knowledge. In fact, I'm horrible at taking multiple choice tests. So on the one hand, I was a tiny bit disappointed that I didn't marry into a Korean Korean family.

However, don't get me wrong! It's not that I'm failing my multiple choice test. I studied so much that I can figure out the multiple choice test. I don't have to rely on innate test-taking skills. I've acquired enough knowledge to help me get through the multiple choice test. And when I look around at my other Korean-American friends who have married into Koreanized families, but wasn't expecting the essay question test, I see that they are suffering! They haven't studied the quotes to weave into their answers. They haven't memorized the key words that test readers are wanting to see, eager to see.

So I know I've got a good thing. I embrace it. I'm blessed by it. Hooray for multiple choice tests!

So back to my original point. I'm a little bit concerned as to how my extended family will react to Danny. Should I just say he's Chinese? haha. Well, he is "Chai-nese." So I wouldn't really be lying....

I guess what I'm saying is that it's harder for someone who studied for the multiple choice test (in Danny's case, since he's innately so good at multiple choice tests, I'm not sure if he even studied at all!) to enter into an essay question situation than the reverse. So it's harder for Danny than it is for me. I'm trying to imagine how my uncles would communicate with him. My cousins are ok in English, so they'll be able to understand him, but they'll respond to him in Korean. I can think of one uncle who's a quantum physics professor that might be able to communicate with him in a math or computer language. Other than that, I think it's just going to be a little bit uncomfortable. Which is fine with me, kinda. I just hope Danny studies a little for this test.

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